My life as a composting bacterium !

[Lumbuck Thornton]

I am a million times smaller than you are.
I have no eyes, arms or legs but sometimes I might have a tail like a tadpole.
I am small enough to float around in slime but also float in air and stick to things.
To me an apple core is 30 km high and 50 km long.
A woodlouse bug looking for rotting wood to chew to me is a 10km long monster.
Mushroom and mould roots grow past so fast they bump up me out of the way and punch through the apple core. Yeasts start fermenting anything that will ferment.

I get really excited with I see organic material to eat.
I get hot and if I have just enough water to drink then every 20 minutes I will split in half. 1,2,4,8,16,32,64,128. I can have a party with hundreds of clones of myself in no time.

If there is too much to drink then things get stuffy with not enough air and the toxic gate crasher bacteria start to fart biogas, methane and rotten egg gas.
Turning and chopping your compostable materials make them much easier to break down and keep the compost party going. The farting bugs hate fresh air.

I ride on the back of 150km long earth worms that travel their own length in 10 seconds. Sometimes I even get swallowed and ride inside the earthworm like you might ride a train. That is how I get onto the top of the apple core and recycle it back into plant fertiliser for humans to grow more food!

[Pakanohida]

I ride on the back of 150km long earth worms that travel their own length in 10 seconds.

The spice musssst flowwwww!!! Long live the composting warriors!

Very well done Lumbuck.

[Lumbuck Thornton]

After the first sentence I would like to add,

"If you look at the grooves in the skin on the end of your finger, 100 of us could line up in a row and only just make it across one of these grooves."

[Lumbuck Thornton]

I've added one more sentence !